No matter how busy you become as a mom, one thing you may think that you don’t really need but you do is a healthy and balanced sex life, and intimacy. It is apart of wellbeing as a woman. It’s nothing to be ashamed of if your libido has tanked after having kids! I say this a lot, having kids does change a lot of things underneath the surface when it comes to your body and mind. Luckily, when it comes to libido, it is something that you can encourage to rise up again in greatness with a little effort and commitment. No need for special medications etc (unless yours has severely tanked and it is advised by your healthcare practitioners); but mild to moderate dips in libido can be remedied by a few natural ways that aren’t time consuming or hard to do.
I have heard from others mamas and how they have gone without sexy time for days, weeks and even months; and then the planets align and their powers combine with their mates, and BOOM! The drought has ended and the troops go marching in. Afterwards you think, how come we don’t do this more often? Well topping off your tank can help you be in the mood more often.
Natural Ways to Boost Your Libido
- Vitamins: A simple women’s multivitamin can give you a boost in Vitamin C and B5. B5 is good for energy production. B5 also helps with the creation of stress and hormones you need for sex. If you don’t want to take a multivitamin then you can pick up those two separately as a supplement to take daily. Most of these are available in gummy, liquid, and pill form at most health food stores or vitamin shops. Be sure to drink plenty of water!
- Get some rest: Lack of sleep can make you grouchy. The sleep struggle is real when you have little kiddos, but once they get on a sleep schedule, then it’s easier to get more solid sleep. Lack of sleep causes stress levels to rise and your desire to do things to crash. Lack of sleep can cause you to always play catch up on life’s activities of juggling work, family, and fun. Having the same or similar sleep schedule as your mate helps as well. If you guys can get settled into a sleep routine, then you can ensure that when it’s sexytime no one is too tired to perform.
- Fruits and Greens: This goes back to bullet number one. Vitamins. If taking supplements aren’t your thing you could always get them into your guts by eating them! Colorful fruits and Green veggies provide more than just Vitamin C, but also Iron which is essential for blood production. Blood flow is important for sexy time when it comes to your lady bits and his key player!
- Aphrodisiac Foods: I am sure you have heard about eating oysters etc for their aphrodisiac properties. However, there is a little myth and truth that surrounds these libido boosting foods. You could eat your weight in chocolate and it not boost your libido. The thing is, aphrodisiac foods are not a cure all, and it is considered a bit of a shortcut. A shortcut that can potentially backfire. Chocolate is one of the biggest known aphrodisiacs and it is also known for naturally boosting your levels of serotonin and dopamine (happy chemicals). However, chocolatey goodness also causes you to experience a sugar high and then a big crash and burn afterwards. So the effects can be very very short lived. Excessive consumption can lead to added weight gain, which will further tank your confidence and make you feel less sexy. I LOVE chocolate but not for sexy times purposes so don’t rely on it. You will need a balanced diet (even if chocolate is included in both hands, which is my type of balanced diet!). Even though some dieticians suggests it is better to EAT rather than DRINK your fruits and veggies, I feel whatever way works for you as long as you are getting something!Some other foods that act as an aphrodisiac without the crash include: Almonds, avocados, bananas, asparagus and if you like it spicy chili peppers!
- Exercise: You don’t have to go hardcore here but even a simple brisk daily walk or dancing while cleaning counts as you being active and getting things moving! Exercise increases your blood flow, your stamina and endurance, and also detoxifies and kicks out those yucky impurities from your body. Being active can boost your happy neurotransmitters, hormones, and endorphins. Increasing your stamina, endurance, blood and oxygen circulation, creates better orgasms, stronger erections for your partner if he is active 🙂 and increased performance in bed. Try to make being more active a priority and reap the benefits of the results.
- Value yourself first: Yes, your partner’s and kid’s needs are a priority, but as a mom, your priority one needs to be yourself. It is okay to put yourself first in a selfish but non-selfish way. You need to be mentally and spiritually well. Kill all of the negative thoughts about yourself in regards to your appearance and self doubt. Taking control of your mental wellbeing is so empowering. For me it was that Ah-Ha! moment of self exploration and accountability, when I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and I decided to ACCEPT that something was wrong, and that I needed help. I accepted the help and began living a better life. If you do have issues with confidence etc, try to pinpoint the root of these issues, and if need be seek professional help. You must embrace your flaws and overcome the negativity in order to go down the path of living a happier and healthier life that is full of intimacy. If you and your spouse are having issues, consider talking out your problems instead of letting them fester. It only takes one bad thought or the flashback of a crappy memory to ruin the mood. Learn new ways to manage and cope with stress and establish a self care routine. Self care is not all about fancy bath salts and pedicures, but emotional and mental needs as well.
- Put on those thinking caps: Get creative and explore! Explore new positions, safe techniques etc. Creativity in the bedroom keeps things interesting and will keep your libido in check.
Now that you have some ideas of basic libido boosters, you can try out different things to see what works best for you. I wish you boosted confidence and a happy, healthy, intimate, and fulfilling sex life after kiddos!