You would think that once you complete high school, you leave the whole dealing with mean girls crap behind. You reach adulthood, become a mom and establish your mom squad. During the whole process of meeting and mingling with other moms, you end up encountering a monster in a mini van. The ones that seem to be perfect in every way, not a single hair standing out of place on their heads, perfectly clean house, and just seems like she really has her shxt together by the way she talks and carries herself. You decide to spark up a conversation because she seems like your kinda gal, and then it hits you. This mommy likes to chop people down and is just plain out mean. They belittle others and make snide remarks in regards to your choices and every damn thing is a competition. These mommies tend to not let you or anyone else that they feel is beneath them in the world of momming into their little mean circle. Some moms bully other moms because they are unhappy with themselves and then there are some who are jealous and insecure. Bullying another mom can be in the form of making a child’s success in academics or sports a competition where their child’s accomplishments have to “one up” others. Mean moms usually run in cliques. The ones I have come across, belong to a group but they are the lone asshole.
In today’s society, being a mother is hard especially with all of the expectations. There is pressure from everyone. Your job if you have one, your husband, your elders who may constantly tell you that you aren’t doing something right and so on. Then you have social media that broadcasts everyday perfection, and media on TV that showcase how moms should carry themselves. Naturally when moms get around each other they want to prove to others how awesome they are at this whole mama bear thing and that is cool. Yet some, take it too far and make other mommies feel like they are doing it all wrong and failing at momming.
I am not all for being made to feel like shxt because I do things differently. It doesn’t make anyone more or less concerned about their child’s education if you are or aren’t involved in the PTA, your child isn’t going to fall apart because you breastfeed, bottle-feed, make your own baby food or shove a baby-food pouch in your kid’s mouth; One kid’s poop isn’t more glorified because it’s in a disposable or cloth diaper and so on.
Some mean girls never grow up and they carry these traits over into adulthood. Moms are subjected to making frenemies for the choices that they make when it comes to parenting. I know what it is like to be excluded from a group and the subject of gossip for my choices. When this happens, the victim is not only the mom but the child as well. I have had some voice their opinion about my appearance, the foods we eat, the type of carseats I use, hell even the car I drive. When does it stop? It is easy for us to criticize one another but how about instead of being mean moms, we offer a little help if we see another mom who truly may be clueless, struggling, and silently losing her shxt; and gently offer ways to do something better or make life a little easier without the belittling.
When was the last time you told another mom, “Hey you are doing a great job!” or “Hey you are kicking motherhood’s ass!” ? I think some moms are just programmed to tell everyone how much they “suck” whether it be directly or indirectly. I think we all are struggling as parents to do the right things and make the best decisions for our sprouts without guilt or resentment. Some moms may not feel very confident in their decisions so they put down others to cope or to seek validation that their choices are superior. Some just have to always be right and in control. Some moms are just assholes. I am here to say Hey girl, you might not hear it often from another mama, and Pinterest might make you feel like you are the “fail” compared to other mamas; but just know you are doing a good job, and no matter how many mean moms you meet in life, keep doing you and doing whatever you feel is best for your child.